My father was getting very concerned about me. At forty-something, single, and choosing a path less traveled, I had become the subject of whispered conversations in our community.

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The Unexpected Path to Love

A Personal Letter from Lisa Marie

When my father's worried whispers about my single status reached me from across continents, I was already forty-something and choosing a path less traveled. I had become the subject of hushed conversations in our community, and little did I know, this was exactly where I needed to be.

An Unlikely Prophecy in Phoenix

It was 2015, and I found myself in aunty Faye's house in Phoenix, Durban. The air hung thick and heavy, wrapped in that distinctive coastal humidity where even breathing feels like an effort. Nothing dared move in that stillness – until she arrived.

She burst into the lounge, her presence as robust as her voice, dragging along a young man who seemed both bewildered and besotted. I can't remember her name now, but I'll never forget how she bulldozed into that room, proud to announce to the entire neighborhood that she had finally found her man.

Of course, aunty Faye couldn't resist. "Tell Lisa how you found your man," she prompted, "she also needs one."

"I wrote a letter to God," came the reply, delivered with absolute conviction. She proceeded to explain, without invitation, how she had written a detailed letter to God, specifying the exact measurements – down to the millimetre – of the man she wanted. And according to her, God had delivered.

"What a bunch of bollocks," I thought.

The Letter I Never Thought I'd Write

Years passed. I remained single. And then, at a point when I had resigned myself to permanent solitude, I found myself sitting on my bed, pen in hand, writing my own letter to God. Just as detailed, just as specific as that confident woman had suggested.

More years passed. Silence answered.

That letter disappeared into a journal, buried beneath hundreds of pages of thoughts and feelings, seemingly forgotten by both God and time.

The Real Journey Begins

But here's what actually changed everything: I stopped waiting and started living.

I took control of my life in ways that had nothing to do with finding love:

• I revolutionised my diet and health
• I committed to daily exercise, discovering joy in movement
• I unleashed my creativity through social media
• I made "silly" videos, posting them daily without apology
• I developed social media strategies and shared wellness content
• I started writing regularly, organising my scattered thoughts
• Most importantly, I fell in love with my life as it was

An Unexpected Sliding Into DMs

And then – BOOM.

He appeared in my DMs. My future husband, sliding into my social media messages while I was busy building my side hustle. What started as a few casual messages evolved into days, weeks, and months of deep online connection.

Why This Story Matters Now

As we step into 2025, many of us are crafting grand intentions and bold plans. Some won't survive past January, and there's a reason for that – one that goes deeper than simple motivation or discipline.

It's the fear of judgment. The terror of stepping out of the boxes others have built for us.

When I was single in my forties, never married and without children, people struggled to categorise me. My father's chatty nature meant that conversations about my "situation" traveled from Swaziland to Durban, Australia and back. Unable to understand my path, some questioned my sexuality – it was the only explanation they could fathom for an unmarried woman my age.

The Truth About Following Your Own Path

Here's what I learned:

• When you follow your authentic path, it makes others uncomfortable
• When you can't be neatly categorised, you become a "problem"
• When people don't understand your choices (and most won't), they will talk
• When you step away from the familiar, it feels deeply isolating
• When you choose differently, some friends and family will distance themselves

It hurts. It feels lonely. The journey often feels like planting seeds in an empty field with no guarantee of growth.

The Patience of Blooming

That letter I wrote to God? It was answered years later, but only after I took action to move my life in the direction I wanted. Not everything in that letter manifested exactly as written – and that's okay. Life has its own poetry.

I waited 45 years to find the right partner, to experience a fulfilled relationship, to get married.

Was it worth it? Yes. Yes. And yes.

Your 2025 and Beyond

As you sit with your intentions and goals for this year, expand your vision beyond the immediate future. Give yourself permission to dream in decades, not just months. Allow yourself the grace of time and the dignity of progress at your own pace.

Make space to grieve – for the loved ones who won't see your success, for the friendships that will fade, for the versions of yourself you'll outgrow.

Start anyway. Keep going anyway.

I'm here, rooting for you and for us.

To a blooming, abundant 2025!

With love,

Lisa Marie

P.S. Sometimes the most beautiful flowers take the longest to bloom. Trust your timeline.

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Whenever you are ready, here are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Resources on the website: www.lisamarielawler.com​
2. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn​
3. Free guide: 3 Steps to Clarity & Confidence​

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